


Of curses and blessings

by damnbrunettes



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4498203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnbrunettes/pseuds/damnbrunettes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither Regina nor Emma enjoyed being told what to do. <i> Be happy. Be good. </i> After the Saviour's sacrifice, the fight starts for the two women, a fight with and for themselves, a fight with and for each other as well. // Post-S4 SQ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on a post season 4 story, mostly from Regina's POV. It doesn't take into account any spoilers/sneak peeks released so far.  
> To OQ and RH haters, i'm on your side! I'm just trying to deal with canon, so he will appear very briefly in the next couple of chapters. But this is most definitely a SQ fic.  
> You can find me on tumblr as askmetojumpoffacliff. Come talk to me. ;)

When Robin asked her how long she had been locked away in her study, going through book after book in search of a way to help Emma, Henry answered for her. Regina had long lost track of time. It could have been an hour, it could have been a day since she kneeled in front of her son, unable to look into his eyes as she delivered the news.

Her little boy.

Her grown-up little boy who had hugged her fiercely. _We'll find a way, mom. We'll help her._ With nothing but love and hope shining in his voice, he was so Charming, she might have loathed him if she didn't love him so much.

"We've been here all night," she heard him say, a protective edge to his voice that made her smile and look up.

Henry was sitting on the floor, surrounded by the few magic books written in english that she possessed. He looked as exhausted as she suddenly felt. She sighed and took off her glasses.

"Robin is right to worry, Henry. It's past time you went to bed."

He rubbed his eyes and he suddenly looked like a small child. She stood up and walked to him. Henry took her hand and swayed into her. She pressed a quick kiss to his forehead.

"Go on up and I'll come tuck you in in a minute."

He was a teenager now, tall and strong, more independent and stubborn than ever before. But he didn't protest, only nodded and dragged his feet out of the study. She should have done this hours ago.

Regina turned to Robin, smiling her gratitude. He took her in his arms and she sighed, at peace for a minute, after which she gently pushed him away.

"Go home Robin."

"If you promise me you'll get some sleep. You know Emma wouldn't want you to kill yourself over this."

"Don't talk to me about what Emma would or wouldn't want," she said, not unkindly.

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I just meant that she wanted you to be happy."

"And don't talk about her like she's gone. She's just off sulking somewhere like the petulant child that she is." Her voice hardened. "She wants me to get a happy ending and she thinks I'm pathetic enough to need only a man. I love you dearly Robin, but my happy ending is my family. Emma is a part of that just as much as you are. So now, I have to fix yet another one of Miss Swan's mistakes. I suggest you don't get in my way."

She moved, ready to storm off, but Robin caught her at the door and took her hand in his.

"I won't," he said gently, "Good night, Regina." Robin kissed her cheek and left.

She took a moment to gather herself, to settle the myriad of emotions bubbling within her and bringing tears to her eyes. She pushed away the guilt, the fear and the sadness. She banished everyone from her thoughts for a while, Emma and Robin alike, until there was nothing but Henry.

Regina made her way upstairs eventually. Henry wasn't in his bedroom but she didn't worry. She found him in her bed, his eyes wide open as he stared off at the window. She took of her shoes and climbed next to him.

"We'll be okay," Henry whispered in the dark. It felt more like a question than a statement, his voice as small as she felt. But he had the heart of the truest believer. She would help him believe.

"Of course we will," she answered. "You and Emma and me, we'll be okay."

**************

Three days went by before she saw Emma again; three days of keeping up a routine, looking after Henry, helping Snow run the town, studying old books and dodging calls from Robin, who ended showing up at the mayor's office one afternoon, a grim look on his face.

"I think you should come with me."

"Stay here, take care of Henry," Regina told her former step-daughter before following Robin.

"What happened?" she asked once they got outside.

"I'm pretty sure we found Emma's hiding place."

For a moment, it was a struggle between fear and hope, until she donned the mask she had spent years perfecting. So it was with a cold and calculating look that she appraised the scene Robin took her to, deep in the forest. Nothing but burned trees and blackened leaves, dead animals and... two corpses laid out on makeshift stretchers.

She stopped to take a deep breath, fighting the urge to throw up.

"I sent two of my merry men to get some woods. After a while we went looking for them."

He was almost shaking with anger and she found herself feeling irrationally angry at him.

"Take them away," she almost growled, "Take them and go away." Regina started walking away but he stepped in front of her.

"Everything is charcoal, everything is dead. She burned a circle half a mile wide around her."

"They got too close, they scared her."

He took a step back, away from her and stared at her with nothing but hurt. She didn't spare him more than a glance before she walked off, deeper into the circle.

"I said go away, Robin."

She didn't look back. Her heart seemed to beat faster and faster as she got closer. After a few minutes, she finally saw the old abandoned trailer. She didn't bother knocking, just strutted in, showing off more confidence than she really felt.

"You know, I've grown quite fond of this town," she started, barely flinching when Emma stood up in a defensive stance. "And I'd really rather you didn't burn down my forest, dear."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, as expected, your mother is proving to be quite the worthless ruler. So, when the merry men reported an incident, I took it upon myself to check things out."

Not knowing whether Emma was aware of having caused two deaths, Regina kept the explanation to a minimum, not wanting to upset the blonde any more than she already was. The former mayor sat carefully, crossing her legs and resting her hands on her thighs. In turn, Emma sat down opposite her, her shoulders sagging, looking more broken than she had ever seen her.

"I didn't mean to. I just wanted them to stay away from me. I got mad and... scared... It just happened."

"So basically you had a tantrum."

The blonde looked up so quickly Regina feared for her neck. Defiance shone in her eyes. Regina felt strangely relieved and happy at the familiar sight of Emma Swan being mad at her. She almost smiled.

"Five year-olds have tantrums, Regina. Centuries old Dark Ones don't."

The urge to smile was gone as quickly as it came. Now her heart broke at this darkened Emma, who seemed more a child playing pretend than the powerful magical being she really was.

"You're 32 years old Emma, not centuries old."

"The darkness is."

"You're not the darkness."

She hadn't expected her words to have such an impact on the young woman. But Emma crumbled before her, eyes brimming with tears, teeth gnawing on her lip.

"There were two," the broken woman whispered. "There were two guys. What happened to them, Regina? Did I hurt them ?"

Regina swallowed her concern, torn between the painful truth and a soothing lie. She thought of Henry, and good, and the honorable thing to do.

"Yes, you did. Those two men are dead, Emma."

The blonde stood up, rubbing her palms hard against her face. Away from Emma's eyes, Regina let down her guard just for a second. She breathed out and her whole body sagged. She breathed in and put the mask back on.

"Fuck," Emma said, before turning towards Regina. "Fuck!" she screamed.

"Being vulgar has never solved anything."

"Well, do forgive me, Your Majesty, but it makes me feel better," she spat at the brunette. "Does Henry know?" Emma asked in a calmer tone.

"No..."

"Good. Don't tell him, okay?"

"I... Emma... Those were two merry men you killed." Emma winced at the word. "I don't want him to hear it from anyone else, as he will surely do if I don't tell him."

"Shit," Emma said, her eyes wide like she just realized something. "It wasn't Robin, was it? Please don't tell me it was Robin." She breathed out, relieved, when Regina shook her head no. "'Cause I really want you to be happy Regina, you know. I just want you to be happy."

Once again, Regina's heart broke for the woman. She wondered what would be left of herself at the end of this ordeal. She watched the younger woman getting agitated, as unbalanced in her movements as in her emotions. She found what she had been looking for.

"I think you should probably have this," Emma said as she handed her the dagger.

Pressing her hand against her mouth, Regina tried to silence the sob that shook her. _Emma Swan_ she read. The name didn't belong here, as much as the woman didn't belong in the darkness.

"You'd think you'd be grateful, not crying," Emma said, her voice as cold as her eyes.

"I'm not grateful, you idiot!"

"I think you should go now."

"I don't want to control you, Emma."

"Yeah? Maybe you should anyway, 'cause I'm feeling pretty murderous right about now. Now go away and you better make sure no one else comes around here."

"Listen to me Emma," Regina hissed in anger as she stood up. "You are now one of the most powerful beings in all the realms, not a dog on a leash. It's up to you to learn to control yourself, not to me. Because if you don't, you'll keep on hurting people and most likely you'll care less and less each passing day. Until one day, you'll hurt the one person that matters the most. One day Henry will look at you with nothing but betrayal and you will be responsible for breaking our son's heart. And that will break you for good."

Regina shot a dark look at a baffled Emma. Her hand closed tightly around the dagger. "I'll keep this safe but don't expect me to use it," the brunette warned as she left.

**************

She could have evaporated to the mayor's office in a cloud of purple smoke. Regina had instead chosen to walk. She had needed the time alone before having to face people. Henry, Snow, Robin... they would all want an explanation.

And she did explain, to Henry first, who made excuses and promises in the same breath. Then she spoke to Snow and David, who held on tightly to each other and spoke of understanding in the face of tragedy, in a way that made Regina bitter and resentful.

Robin was waiting for her on the porch of her home. He followed them in in silence. He was patient enough to wait for Henry to leave the room before asking for his explanation. He was probably the only one that made sense, speaking of internment and protecting Emma as well as the entire town. He seemed the one rational person today. Yet he was the one Regina lashed out at. When he slammed the door on his way out, Regina was already halfway up the stairs.

**************

At the sudden loud noise, Regina jumped up from her seat behind the mayor's desk. It took her a few seconds to get over the astonishment of seeing Snow White dropped without ceremony on the floor of her office, silver smoke dissipating quickly from around her.

"What the hell?" Regina eventually muttered.

"Regina?" Snow asked as she slowly stood up, rubbing her behind in a way that would have certainly made the older woman cackle with joy under other circumstances.

"Let me guess," Regina started, sitting on the edge of her desk as she crossed her arms and smiled. "You went against my advice and paid your daughter a visit." Snow's annoyed look was telling enough. "I'm assuming Emma didn't take kindly to the intrusion."

Regina knew she probably should have been more concerned than amused at the callous way in which Emma had just disposed of her mother. But, she knew first hand how annoying Snow's good dispositions could be. Besides, bruised bottom aside, the woman seemed okay, proof that Emma had showed restraint.

It had been almost a week since the death of the two merry men. Rumors had spread like wildfire and she had quickly called for a town hall meeting. Snow and David had done most of the talking. They had calmly explained, asked for patience and warned not to step inside what people had took to calling the dark circle. So far, the people's faith in Snow and Charming seemed to endure, infuriating Regina but keeping Storybrooke at peace.

Earlier in the week, Hook had been found perched in a tree, hiding from a hungry crocodile. Apparently he had tried true love's kiss to free Emma but had only managed to piss the woman off. The day after that, a couple of kids looking for trouble had stepped inside the circle. They were now bald, after an enchantment burned all their hair. Regina had been impressed, both at the skill and the restraint Emma was showing. After making sure her hair and the rest of her would be safe from any enchantment, she had even went to congratulate Emma. So far, their conversations seemed to always start friendly and end angrily.

Those had been the only two reported events this week, which was why Regina allowed herself to be amused at Snow's situation.

"I really wish you wouldn't look so happy at my misfortune."

"I warned you, didn't I?"

"She's my daughter! Tell me Regina, how would you feel if you were told you couldn't see Henry anymore?" Snow seemed to regret her words the second she voiced them.

"You mean, how did I feel when I was told I couldn't see Henry?" She had refused to stop seeing him. She had sat for hours in her car, watching him. She had gone to talk to him when he was alone. She did empathize with Snow. But the situation was not the same.

Regina adjusted her stance and sighed. "Henry wasn't... dangerous. Emma needs space and time to work things out without risking to hurt people or herself. She has enough to deal with as it is. She doesn't need your... feelings, your concern. So, when I say to stay away from her, trust me, I don't do it just to annoy you. Although, that is a bonus."

Snow glared at her and huffed in annoyance. She crossed her arms over her chest, mirroring Regina. Noticing the move, the older woman stood up and went back to sit behind her desk.

"You may leave now."

"You know, you're not mayor anymore." Regina shot her a dark look, but kept quiet. She had a feeling there was something else bothering Snow. She wasn't wrong. "Regina... why does she only want to see you?"

Snow waited patiently as Regina thought about it. Frankly, she was surprised the question hadn't been asked earlier, considering she had seen the darkened young woman three times already. And yet, she had trouble finding her words.

"She feels a kinship, I guess. Aside from Rumplestiltskin, if anyone knows darkness it's me. Besides, she doesn't fear hurting me."

"Because you have magic?"

"Yes." Regina nodded, "And because she thinks I don't care about her."

**************

That evening, after she had put Henry to bed, Regina poofed herself directly in the trailer. She found the blonde sitting indian style on the bed, an open notebook in her lap. She didn't look up when Regina appeared.

"You know, one of these days, you're going to poof in on me naked or something."

"Like I don't have enough demons as it is."

Emma smiled. Regina couldn't help but return it. The blonde watched as the older woman sat down carefully on the edge of the bed, her eyes falling to the notebook.

"You draw," Regina said, almost breathless in her astonishment. " May I?" she asked, already reaching for the notebook.

"Yeah, I guess." Emma shrugged.

The blonde moved on the bed, folding her bare legs up against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She rested her cheek on her knees and stared at Regina.

"I haven't drawn in a while. It requires to be still which, you know, I'm not really good at."

"It's beautiful." It was also disturbingly dark, but beautiful was an understatement. Emma had been drawing a woman with long dark hair, her face still undefined. Regina wondered who it was meant to be.

But it was a previous drawing that she couldn't look away from. It showed a young woman, blond hair flowing, her face tight with pain, eyes shut and mouth open. Her chest was drawn like a cupboard, the open doors letting out a familiar looking darkness, its tentacles already wrapping themselves around limp arms. One tentacle went up and around the neck, like the noose of a hanged woman. But the most terrible sight of the artwork laid within the darkness itself, where nameless faces, all screaming in pain, were lightly drawn, barely discernible.

Regina realized she was crying when Emma called her name. The young woman had moved, sitting on her feet beside the brunette.

"Why the hell would you do this Emma? Why the hell would you be this stupid?"

Emma showed nothing but determination, her jaw set and hey eyes hardened.

"Better me than you." she answered.

Regina stood up, shooting an angry look at the blonde and tossing her the notebook with little care.

"I came here to tell you not to drop people on my desk anymore." Regina said before disappearing in purple smoke.

**************

For once, Emma listened to her. Two days later, after Henry disobeyed her order not to go see his birth mother, it was not the boy that was dropped on her desk, but an apple with a note pinned on it.

_Since I can't drop him, I'll keep him._

Two phone-calls were enough for Regina to figure out exactly who Emma was keeping. After violently throwing the apple against the wall, Regina transported herself directly in the trailer. Finding it empty, she slammed the door open and walked out onto the blackened ground.

Henry ran up to her and she breathed out. She hadn't really been worried about his safety. She was mostly seething with anger at Emma. Still, it was nice to be sure.

"Mom, don't get mad. I'm fine, ok. Really, everything's fine," Henry assured her, obviously trying to calm her. It didn't work.

"I'll be the judge of that," she retorted, already looking around for the blonde. "And don't think I forgot you disobeyed me, Henry."

This felt all to familiar to her and she hated the deja-vu. Although for once, Henry actually looked sheepish at being reprimanded.

"So where is that irresponsible mother of yours?"

"I don't know," he answered slowly. "She left a minute ago to get me something. I don't know what."

Regina hummed and took a few steps forward. She turned to her son and smiled slightly at him.

"Are you really ok, Henry ?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's weird you know. She's different. She keeps doing things to make me happy but... not like before." He shrugged and bowed down his head.

Regina sighed and reached for him, hugging him against her. "Honey... she's still the same woman deep inside. She's still your mother, someone who loves you more than the world and who would do absolutely anything for you. But it's sort of like she has another voice in her head, telling her to do things differently than she would normally do."

"Yeah, I get it. I can handle it, though. I promise," he told her, narrowing his eyes at her. She smiled and nodded before taking his chin in her hand, stroking her thumb against his jaw. "Mooom." he protested, pushing her hand aside, but he was smiling all the same.

She turned away from him. "So... what were you two up to this afternoon?"

"Well... she enchanted bunnies to juggle, she changed branches into swords so that I could train, she poofed a whole stand of comic-books here. We should really return that to the store by the way." He pointed at the stand sitting on the grass a few steps away, next to two swords. "Oh, and she made the heroes fly out of the book! That was really cool."

Regina smiled distractedly, once again impressed by the skill Emma was displaying. Suddenly, the woman appeared right next to her. Regina took a step back and realized then that Emma had not come back alone. The blonde was holding a young girl by the arm.

"Paige!" Henry called out, already running to her. "Paige, what are you doing here?"

She looked at him with wide, teary eyes, sparing a quick, fearful glance at Emma.

"I wanted to see you, Henry...to play with you," the girl answered shyly.

"Seriously, Miss Swan?" Regina growled. "Henry, why don't you and Paige go read some comics for a while."

While she was speaking to her son, her eyes never left Emma. Once the kids were a few feet away, she stepped forward, until she was nothing but inches from the blonde.

"What the hell were you thinking, kidnapping a child?"

"Oh relax, Regina. I'll bring her back in a while. Come on! You know Henry has a crush on her. Look how cute they are!"

"That's not the point, Emma! You want to set them up on a date, buy them movie tickets, don't kidnap the girl!"

"Well would you look at the pot calling the kettle black. I read Henry's book, you know." Emma's voice was as cold as her eyes. Her mouth was twisted in a nasty snarl. When Emma leaned in, the two women found themselves unbelievably close. The brunette's gaze fell briefly to Emma's lips. "Hansel and Gretel ring a bell? How many children did you send in that witch's house before those two managed to get out alive?"

It was as though Emma punched Regina in the stomach. She swallowed hard, calmed down her breathing and faced the blonde's dark stare again.

"And I don't want you to walk down that path, Emma, please."

"Why should I care what you want?"

"Because I'm the reason you have to struggle with the darkness in the first place! And I don't want to be the reason you completely lose yourself!" With a hand on her chest, Regina pushed Emma against the trailer. "Please, Emma, please hang on to the goodness in you," she said softly, "if not for me, for Henry."

Emma looked over at Henry and Paige. The girl kept shooting quick worried glances at them. She startled when she caught Emma's gaze and Henry moved closer to her, shielding the girl from their eyes. For a moment, there was nothing but Emma, Emma Swan, Emma the saviour, Emma Henry's mother, standing before Regina. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen and without thinking, Regina found herself cupping the young woman's cheek.

But in the next moment, the darkness was back. Emma pushed the brunette away.

"Get the fuck away from me Regina. Take the children and get the fuck out of here."

Regina stood straighter and sighed. "Fine. I'll get those kids home. But then I'm coming back and you and I are going to have a serious, much needed talk. Got it ?"

Emma chuckled. She stepped close to Regina and grabbed her jaw. "Catch me if you can," she hissed, inches away from the brunette's lips.

Then, she disappeared in a silver cloud. Regina stared at the empty space before her, oddly excited at the idea of a cat and mouse game with Emma. She cleaned up Emma's mess, sending everything back where it belonged, and left the forest, Henry and Paige walking side by side a few steps ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few days, Regina checked out every place in Storybrooke she could think of but always came back empty ended. Emma always stayed one step ahead for her and most annoyingly, seemed to delight in taunting the brunette.

She left flowers for her in her kitchen, flowers apparently stolen from her own garden. She magicked a horse in her backyard, a bow wrapped around his neck. After making sure neither a horse nor a human had been reported missing, she decided to keep it and for the first time since Daniel, paid a visit to the stables.

According to Snow, Emma had even stopped by to pay a visit to her baby brother, leaving a fluffy black swan behind. Coincidently, a swan from the pond went missing that day. Snow White had barged in her study, tears already streaming down her face.

"Why am I not enough, Regina? Why am I never enough?" Snow had cried out, pacing in the room. "I was never enough for you, never enough for you to let go of your blood thirst and change. And now, I'm not enough for Emma, not enough to help her."

Regina had listened and then served the woman a drink and let her cry herself to sleep on her couch.

That Saturday afternoon, Regina was taking a break from going through old magic books by baking a cake with Henry. They both jumped, startled, when a body fell out of thin air and on the floor of her kitchen.

"Oh for heaven's sake, I told her not to do this anymore," Regina muttered.

She walked around the island and kneeled next to the man already moving, trying to get up. It was Robin.

"Regina? What the hell happened?" Robin asked, standing up.

She stepped up to him, running a hand over his face, checking for any injuries. He grabbed her by the wrist to stop her. "I'm fine Regina, just confused." And slightly angry, it seemed.

"I'm sorry, Robin. I think Emma is just trying to annoy me."

"By making you spend time with me? Am I really that terrible?" She sighed before turning to Henry, an apology clear in her eyes.

"I'll be in my bedroom," the boy said with a small smile. When she heard him running up the stairs, she looked back at Robin.

"You're not terrible at all Robin. That's not what it's about."

"Then tell me. Because a few weeks ago, Emma sacrificed herself so we could be together. And since that, it feels like we've only grown further apart. So much that, once again, Emma has to be the one pushing us together."

"She sacrificed herself so that I could be happy," Regina corrected softly. Robin took a step back, frowning.

"And you're not happy with me? I don't get it Regina! I thought, I thought that you and I... I thought we were happy, I thought we were true loves."

"Oh, Robin," she breathed out and rested her hands on his chest. "You did make me happy, you still make me happy. But I can't... I can't be happy as long as Emma is struggling. I have to help her. That's the only thing that matters right now."

"Okay," Robin answered after a moment of silence. "I told you I wouldn't stand in your way and I won't. But at least let me help you, let me be here for you. Let me buy you dinner."

Regina laughed and nodded. " Fine. You may buy me dinner."

After Robin left, she called Henry down and they finished baking together. Once the cake was in the oven, they sat at the kitchen island, drinking hot chocolate for him, coffee for her.

"Henry, I'm having dinner with Robin tonight. Do you want me to have David come pick you up or would you rather stay home alone?"

"Hum...dinner with David and Snow. I like spending time with baby Neal."

"Okay, I'll call them." She narrowed her eyes, sensing an unease in her son. "Is everything okay, honey?"

"Yes, sure. It's just... you're not giving up on Emma, are you?"

"No, honey, of course not. Why would you think that?"

"'Cause you're going out with Robin."

"Which doesn't mean I'm forgetting about Emma." Regina grabbed Henry's hand. "I promise, Henry. I won't stop fighting for her. 

"His smile was bright, his eyes were shining and her heart was warm.

"Remember after the curse broke," Henry said, "and you tried to force me to stay with you?" Regina swallowed hard and nodded. "You made a cupcake appear and told me I could make people love me. The way Emma acted the other day, with me... it reminded me of that. But you got better, you learned to love and to use your powers for good. That's why you're good for her. That's why you can help her."

She looked at her son's face, her bright boy, always so full of hope and love. She went to him and pressed him against her heart.

**************

That evening, dressed and dolled up, she met Robin at Storybrooke's Fish & Chips. It might not have been her first choice, but still, that beat Granny's. She had a nice enough evening. Robin was sweet, patient and interested. But she found herself distracted, her thoughts straying to Emma one to many times.

"Regina? You're with me?"

"What? Yes! Sorry. I'm a bit tired, I think." She could see that Robin wanted to say something but stopped himself. She smiled. "How is Roland?" she asked, getting them back on safe ground.

At the end of the evening, Robin walked her out. Cupping her cheek, he kissed her mouth and pressed her against her car. She opened her mouth to him, finding it easy to get lost in the feeling of being loved, being wanted and cherished. Until once again, Emma Swan invaded her thoughts and an irrational guilt came over her. Gently, she pushed him away.

"Good night Robin," she said. With a small smile, she kissed his cheek and climbed in her car.

Just as she was about to close the door, she caught sight of someone standing on the other side of the road, a shadowed figure she could make out just enough to know that Emma Swan was watching her. Before Regina had time to even think about running after her, the woman disappeared.

**************

When David called her at 2 am, Regina was quick to worry.

"Come to the Rabbit Hole right now," he told her and hung up straight away.

Taking off her silk pajamas, she slipped on the dress she had been wearing for her date, brushed a hand through her hair and poofed away. She met David in front of the pub.

"Emma's in there and she's wreaking havoc in the place. She's out of control, Regina, but I don't want to hurt her."

Regina nodded her understanding and walked in. She was stunned by what she saw, over-turned tables, broken glass, knocked out and bleeding customers everywhere.  

Emma was leaning against the pool table, her back to Regina. She was facing a wall against which a man was held up in the air, a cue blocking his airway. A young woman stood a few feet away, shaking like a leaf and covering her mouth with both her hands.

"Oh god... " Regina whispered.

Hearing her voice, Emma turned around, looking beautiful and dangerous, with black eyes and red lips. Their eyes met. But once again, the blonde disappeared before Regina could do anything to stop her. The man fell harshly on the floor.

"Damn it, Emma!" the brunette cried out. She left David the task of cleaning everything up. He wanted to rule, he could deal with the messes. She went home and back to bed, although she sensed sleep would elude her.

And indeed, Regina laid awake for long minutes, staring at the ceiling. Her day kept replaying in her mind. From Henry's words you're good for her, to Robin's kiss and to Emma's destruction. She couldn't help but wonder if her losing control had anything to do with witnessing the goodnight kiss. That wouldn't make any sense however. Emma seemed to want nothing more than Regina and Robin together.

The woman frowned and sighed, utterly confused. Besides, there was something else, hiding in the back of her mind, an important information just out of reach, like a word on the tip of her tongue. She closed her eyes, trying to relax enough to find the answer she was looking for. When she next opened them, the sun was already up.

**************

At breakfast, Regina told Henry about the previous night's incident at the Rabbit Hole. She didn't tell him about having seen Emma earlier in the evening, after Robin kissed her.

"I don't understand, mom. Why did she got mad like that?" Her heart tightened at her son's concern.

"I don't know honey, I really don't. But I'll find her and I'll talk to her, I promise. "

He shrugged, unconvinced. She brushed a strand of hair away from his face, smiling at his glare. "You should hurry up. David will be here soon to take you to the stables." He lightened up slightly at the prospect of a riding lesson.

Henry wolfed down the rest of his breakfast, jumped from his seat, and ran up the stairs. He hadn't come back down when David knocked on the door. Regina tightened the belt of her robe and went to open.

"Hey," he greeted her as she let him in.

"Hi, David. You look absolutely exhausted. I take it your daughter's mess took a while to clean up."

"Five people had to be hospitalized, Regina. Ten others are hurt. They all want to press charges, except for the man Emma almost choked to death. Turns out he was harassing a girl before Emma stepped in. I... I don't know how to help her anymore."

Regina was taken aback by the vulnerability David was showing. She liked and respected the man much more than she would ever admit. It touched her to witness his despair but it also exacerbated her worry for Emma and she had no intention to coddle him.

"I promised Henry i would help Emma and I will, " she asserted, "But maintaining the peace in Storybrooke, that isn't up to me anymore, David. You and your wife took on that responsibility. It's your job to make sure Emma doesn't get mobbed as soon as I convince her to stop hiding. "

She stared at David until he nodded his understanding. Henry finally came down, greeted his grandfather, gave a quick hug to his mother and ran out. David smiled tightly at her and followed after the boy.

Regina closed the door behind them and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Last night Emma had taken a big step forward on her dark path and it worried Regina immensely.

**************

It came back to her when Regina was checking herself out in the mirror after getting dressed. The clothes. The clothes Emma had been wearing the night before, the outfit that made her seem so dangerous. That had been hers. Emma had been wearing one of Regina's old Evil Queen get-ups, the ones she kept in the hidden room of her vault.

"That nasty little thief," Regina muttered and disappeared in a puff of smoke. She appeared in her vault, her heart beating faster at the prospect of seeing Emma again. "You thieving little bitch," Regina growled as she walked in.

The blonde was sitting in the black chair in the middle of the room, one leg thrown over the armrest, a book opened in her hands. She turned her head to look at Regina and raised her eyebrows.

"How vulgar, Your Majesty."

"You stole my clothes."

"Yeah. I wouldn't worry though, you wear them much better."

"Of course I do, dear."

Emma stood up, the book falling to the floor. "You want your clothes back, why don't you just take them."

Regina narrowed her eyes at the younger woman, slightly rattled at the blatant flirting and the way Emma checked her out as she swaggered up to her. For a brief moment, Regina allowed herself to do the same. The darkened Saviour was wearing leather pants and a dark green shirt with silver embroidery along the low neckline, a black bra peeking out of it.

Regina licked her lips and Emma smirked.

"Always nice to make an impression," the blonde drawled.

There had always been tension between the two women, and yes, maybe a tad of flirting if Regina was honest. But it was always so wrapped in loathing and anger that it didn't seem to mean much. This felt different. This felt dangerous and exhilarating. It made her throat dry and her heart beat faster. It made her want to wrap her hand around Emma's throat and press her lips to hers. But that was out of the question. So Regina did what she did best. She clung to her anger like a desperate woman.

"I'm not here to flirt, Emma," she snarled. "What the hell happened last night?"

Emma glared before turning her back on the brunette. "I don't want to talk about it," she answered in a sweet voice. The blonde sat down again, slouching. She threw both her legs over the armrest and kicked off her high heels before picking up the book once more.

Regina tightened her fists, resisting the urge to break something, especially the blonde's neck. Sighing, she decided to switch gears. "Is that how you mastered all those enchantments, by reading my books?" Emma looked up at her, her eyes narrowed in slight suspicion.

"No... I'm actually reading about history and stuff," Emma sounded small, hesitant almost, as if she feared Regina would mock her or get mad. As it was, the older woman felt all anger leave her. She sat down on the foot stool, opposite Emma.

"It's okay, it's good, that you're taking such an interest. I'm just... impressed, really, by the skill you're showing."

Emma scoffed without humor. "Oh it's not me. I'm still as inept as I always was. It's the dark one." the young woman snickered, "I don't just have the powers, I have the knowledge that come with them."

Regina grabbed the blonde's hand without looking at her, uncomfortable with the gesture but unable to resist it. "Emma," she breathed. "You aren't inept. It takes time to master magic. And you were already showing remarkable skill all on your own."

"But it comes easier as the dark one," Emma observed. Her thumb brushed Regina's skin, before the brunette pulled her hand away and she was left to rest both her hands on her own thighs.

"What happened last night, Emma?" she asked softly. The blonde closed herself off again.

"What do you mean? A few beers, a good bar fight and a nice game of pool. All in all, a pretty nice evening."

"You sent five people to the hospital. Your parents are desperately trying to keep the town from turning against you and your son is scared. Henry is so scared for you, Emma."

The young woman threw the book over her shoulders and glared at Regina.

"Don't use my son to manipulate me, Your Majesty. That's not a very nice thing to do."

"I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm just trying to remind you of why you should hang on to the goodness in you. You don't have to surrender to the darkness."

"But surrender is so much easier than battle, Regina."

Emma seemed both like a young, lost girl, and a tired woman, older than her years.

"Just give us a chance, Emma. Give us, your family, a chance to help you, to be there for you."

The blonde raised an eyebrow at Regina's inclusion of herself in Emma's family. She stared at the older woman, so long that Regina started fidgeting, uncomfortable.

"What?" she finally asked Emma. The woman shrugged and left her seat, walking aimlessly in the room.

"It's just... you spent days looking for me. Why didn't you just summon me? You have the dagger after all."

"I don't want to control you. I want to help you control yourself."

"But wouldn't it be easier?"

"I don't care about easier," Regina snapped, standing up as well. "You think it was easy for me to redeem myself  No, it wasn't. But I did it anyway and so will you. You know why? Because we're mothers, Emma, and we fight tooth and nail for our child."

She noticed Emma brush away a tear from her cheek.

"Fine, fine!" Emma grumbled, raising her arms in surrender. "So what do I do, Regina?"

"Stop hiding. Spend time with your family. And anytime you want to use magic, ask yourself whether or not Henry would approve. I found he's a pretty good moral compass."

A smile lit up Emma's face. Regina found herself doing the same, their shared love for their son uniting them once more. The brunette walked to the door hidden behind the mirror and opened it. Emma gave herself a quick look over before following her, grabbing her shoes on the way out.

"I do look kinda hot though, don't I?"

"Yes dear, you do," Regina replied with a laugh.

Once outside of the vault, Emma turned to Regina, crossing her arms over her chest as if to keep herself warm.

"So where do we start?" the blonde asked.

"Well," Regina sighed, "David and Henry are out riding. How about we start small and have coffee with your mother?"

"Really? You want to have coffee with my mother?"

"You jumped into darkness for me, the least I can do is bear your mother." Emma rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "But, I do think we would do better appearing directly in the building," Regina carried on. "An Evil Queen and a Darkened Saviour walking arm in arm down  Main street might cause a slight panic."

A shadow passed over the blonde's face. But Emma nodded, grabbed Regina's arm, and the two women disappeared. When they appeared in the entry hall of the building, Regina lost her footing and fell into Emma.

"Sorry," the brunette apologized. "I got dizzy. Next time you want to use your magic on me like that, give me some warning?"

"What? The great Evil Queen gets travel sickness?"

"No, she doesn't," Regina bit back. "I'm just not used to your magic."

"My magic is dizzying?" The blonde looked much to amused at the idea.

"I wouldn't go that far, dear," Regina drawled. But it was a bit dizzying actually. The older woman had a feeling she could get addicted to such a feeling. She glared at Emma for good measure before climbing the stairs leading to the Charming loft. Regina knocked, but then took a step back to leave Emma be the first thing her mother would see.

"Emma," Snow gasped as soon as the door opened.

"Hey," the woman's daughter answered shyly. Emma had her hands in her pockets, her shoulders up, looking as though she wanted nothing more than to disappear into herself. She cleared her throat before breaking the silence. "I just wanted to say hi, and that I'm fine and I'm sorry for the mess I made."

Snow looked at her daughter with big wide eyes, wet with unshed tears. "Oh, honey."

She promptly engulfed the young woman into a hug. From behind her, Regina saw Emma tense up briefly, before she relaxed and placed her arms around her mother. After a while, Snow stepped back, a small smile lighting up her face.

"Do you want to come in for tea or something?" the brunette asked.

Emma turned to Regina, as if waiting for her answer. The older woman shrugged, leaving the decision to Emma. The blonde gave a quick nod. "Yeah, okay, I guess."

They both entered the apartment, Emma going further in while Snow grabbed Regina by the arm. "Thank you," she whispered to her former stepmother.

"Don't thank me yet," Regina replied, her voice hoarse.

Snow smiled again and went back to fussing lightly over her daughter. Regina sat down at the table, and after a few aimless paces, Emma took the seat next to her.

As Snow started preparing the tea, the baby started crying. While Emma and Regina's heads immediately turned towards the sound, Snow didn't move.

"Hmm...you maybe wanna get that?" Emma asked.

"He's teething," his mother sighed. "I gave him some paracetamol earlier but he cries anyway. David says it'll pass eventually."

She frowned, obviously worried about her son's distress, but she sat down in front of the two women, laying steaming mugs on the table. Snow smiled brightly at Emma.

"How have you been?" Snow inquired. Regina almost rolled her eyes at the inane question. Emma shrugged.

"Okay, I guess. I mean, it's hard you know," the blonde confessed. She wrapped her hands around her mug and stared at the tea, closed off. She huffed in annoyance when baby Neal let out another loud shriek. "Damn it, does that kid ever shut the fuck up?!"

"Emma!" Snow exclaimed. Regina sighed and got up.

"Leave him to me," the older woman advised. For a second, Snow seemed conflicted but gave Regina a quick nod. Emma didn't even look up.

Regina felt Snow's eyes on her as she walked to the bedroom. She took the baby boy from his crib and held him against her. The familiar baby smell brought back many memories and Regina smiled. Her lips against the boy's temple, she hummed softly. She turned in order to watch mother and daughter talk.

"Why don't you stop hiding and move back in with us, Emma?" she heard Snow suggest.

"Because I'm not safe," the blonde answered, her voice tense, an edge to it that made Regina move.

She grabbed a teething ring from the crib before going back in the room and sitting back down next to the young woman. Both Emma and Snow quieted down on her arrival and watched her settle the baby against her. With a motion of her fingers, she froze the toy before gently slipping it in the baby's mouth. Little chubby fingers grabbed onto the ring and the baby hummed, looking up at Regina with wide eyes.

"It helps if it's cold," the brunette explained.

"Thank you," Snow whispered.

Regina caught Emma staring at her, her eyes shining with something like wonder, her mouth half open. Regina felt her heart catch in her throat and looked back down at baby Neal. She ran a finger lightly across his forehead. The boy closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Regina.

"Emma's right," Regina said after a while. "She's working on it but she's not safe yet. She needs her own space to get better."

The brunette reached for Emma's hand and grabbed it, the touch brief and light before she settled her own hand back on the baby's leg. "And she will get better," Regina added firmly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos, guys. Keep them coming. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may -or may not- have noticed that i didn't post a new chapter last week. I apologize for that. Work was crazy and i am crazy tired.   
> Anyway, here is chapter 3.  
> Thank you so much to you wonderful people who commented and left kudos.

When they left the Charming's loft, Regina half expected the blonde to disappear in a cloud of smoke. Instead, she casually walked out, looking almost at peace. Ignoring her previous concern about Emma being out in the open, Regina followed and the two women walked in silence for a few minutes. Until Emma bumped into Regina, their shoulders knocking together. The brunette turned her head, her face set in an annoyed frown. But the annoyance melted away when she saw Emma's bright smile directed at her.

« Thanks for this » the blonde said. « This was good, this was... normal, almost. It was a good idea. » Regina smiled back, leaning towards the younger woman so that their arms brushed again.

« I'm glad you think so. And i think it might have helped your mother as well. She was not handling this well. » Emma laughed.

« I kinda always expect the sky to open up and four horsemen to ride out when you're being nice to Mary Margaret. »

Mirroring the blonde once again, Regina chuckled. « Well don't rule it out just yet. »

They walked in a comfortable silence for a while. But when they got to Mainstreet, Regina realised they were being watched. People on the street were eyeing them with concern or outright fear, with anger for some. One mother grabbed her child by the hand before quickly walking away. But Regina also realised that that fear was mainly focused on Emma. And it seemed the blonde had come to the same conclusion. Indeed, Regina felt her tension, the buzzing of her magic, unsettled and dangerous. She grabbed Emma's forearm, hoping to calm her down but ready as well to poof them both out of there.

Regina startled when Archie appeared in front of them.

« Hello ladies, » the cricket greeted, flashing that foolish smile of his. « Lovely day, isn't it ? »

Regina sighed, already exasperated by the man. « Yes it is. It would be even lovelier if you got out of our way, Bug, » she answered.

« I just wanted to say, Emma, that if you want to talk, my door is always open to you. Dealing with such darkness, coming to terms with what you've done... it helps to talk, really. »

Regina slipped her hand down to wrap it around Emma's wrist, worried about her lashing out but wanting to give her a chance to control herself.

« Thanks, but i'm good, doctor. I'm doing all the talking i need, » the blonde answered tightly.

« Yes, well... » Archie said as his eyes fell to Regina's hand around Emma's wrist. « Maybe an objective view, a voice of reason if you'd like, would be more appropriate. »

Archie was suddenly knocked back by a blast of silver magic and his loyal dog started grownling. Gently, Emma shook off Regina's touch and walked up to the doctor. Regina didn't try to stop her but followed closely behind. The blonde crouched down next to the man lying on the pavement, his eyes fearful as they settled on the darkened saviour.

« I believe my _voice of reason_ told you to get out of her way, » Emma hissed. Then, she got up, walked away and into Granny's diner.

Staying behind, Regina helped Archie up. « I'm so sorry, doctor Hopper. She's still trying to control herself. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. »

« No, i'm quite sure she meant to protect you actually, » Archie said with a gentle smile. The doctor's words unsettled Regina and the woman hastily said her goodbyes before following Emma. When Regina walked in Granny's, all eyes turned to her, then to Emma, then to Regina again.

Once upon a time, the brunette had walked into that very diner and Emma's reassurance had pushed people to accept her in their celebration. Now, in a strange role reversal, people seemed to be looking to her for reassurance, while distrustful looks were thrown at Emma.

Shaking off the uneasiness she felt at that new situation, Regina gave everyone a quick nod and walked up to the blonde, sitting on a stool, drinking coffee. She grabbed Emma by the arm and pulled her away.

« Hey, hey ! » Emma protested as Regina dragged her to the back of the diner and slammed her against the nearest wall. « What the hell are you doing ? » Emma groaned.

« What the hell were you doing, hurting Archie ? » Regina asked. « Did that really feel like the right course of action ? »

« Actually, it did, » Emma replied, grinning. Regina released her hold on Emma's arms and grabbed both her hands instead.

« Emma » the brunette whispered. « You need to think before you act, » she explained gently. « Take a deep breath, think about Henry and only then use your magic if you still feel it's the right thing to do. »

Emma looked down at their linked hands. « We're touching a lot these days, aren't we ? » the blonde noted.

« What ? »

« Nothing. It's just... i can count on one hand the number of time we've touched before, and this include punching and strangling. Now, it feels like we're always touching. »

« I'm sorry », Regina replied, letting go of the blonde's hands. « I was just trying to center you, calm you. »

« I wasn't complaining, only observing. Anyway, i'll try to do the whole breathe and think stuff. I promise. »

« It really doesn't bother you, then ? » Regina asked softly.

The blonde shook her head no and sunk back against the wall, the tension leaving her body. Closing her eyes, the young woman took a deep breath. When she opened them again, it was to stare at Regina for long seconds, long enough to make her slightly uncomfortable. « Emma ? »

Emma slipped one hand under Regina's jacket and against her back, pressing the brunette against her. « Emma ? » she asked again, a gasp more than a question. Emma's other hand cupped her cheek.

Regina suddenly understood what was going to happen. And she found herself powerless, or maybe just unwilling, to try and stop it. One last, breathless « Emma », a warning as much as a prayer, left her lips before they touch Emma's. Regina closed her eyes and fell into the other woman. Her hands fisted into the blonde's shirt, desperate for something to hold onto.

A nearby noise brought her back to reality and Regina took a step back, her hand flying to her mouth. She looked around at the empty hallway before turning back to Emma. The younger woman was smiling softly, watching the brunette.

« Now _that_ felt like the right course of action, » Emma chuckled. Regina shot her a dark look.

« Are you mad ? How did that possibly feel like _the right course of action_  ?! I'm with Robin ! » Regina exclaimed. « I thought you wanted me with Robin, » she added, more softly, as Emma buried her hands in her pockets and looked down. « You were there that night, when i kissed Robin outside of the restaurant. And not two hours later you were destroying an entire pub, Emma. I thought i was being ridiculous but... » Regina stepped closer to Emma and laid carefully a hand over the blonde's heart. « But i wasn't, was i ? You were jealous, Emma, weren't you. »

When Emma looked back at Regina, her eyes were wet, her mouth twisted in a pained grimace.

« I really wanted you to be happy. I just hadn't realized how much _i_ wanted _you_. I'm sorry. » Regina was astonished at the admission. Through the daze that was her mind at the moment, she did have one thought. She grabbed onto Emma's arm.

« Don't you dare disappear on me now, Swan » she warned, knowing the woman's tendencies to run away. « I... Emma... » she sighed. She rested her forehead against Emma's and heard her suck in a shaky breath. Her heart broke for this darkened saviour, burdened with the pain of the world and the pain of her own heart. She realized how inconsequential Robin was at this instant. In fact, nothing really mattered, except for the woman whose heart was beating widly against her hand.

« I'm really sorry Regina, » Emma whispered. Regina sighed again and, closing her eyes, kissed the blonde.

« Stop apologizing » she replied. And this time, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that this was the right, and the only, thing to do. She moved her lips over Emma's and before long, the two women were caught in a battle of lips, teeth and tongue. Their shudders and sighs filled the hallway.

After a long while, the women separated and stared at each other, their eyes still dark with want. Regina placed a hand against Emma's cheek and smiled softly at her. When the blonde smiled back, Regina felt a peacefulness come over her, one like she hadn't felt in a long time, probably since the first time she'd held Henry.

« Come over for dinner tonight. You can spend some time with Henry and then maybe we can talk about all this. » Emma smiled wider still and nodded eagerly.

**************

Regina went back home and had lunch with her son. He told her about his riding lesson and she told him about Emma, her coffee date with her mother but also her lashing out at Archie. As much as she wanted to protect Henry from the truth, she was also worried about him getting his hopes up. He looked down at his plate and nodded.

« Thanks for being honest with me, mom. »

She smiled at him and served him a second helping of mashed potatoes.

« I invited her to dinner this evening, » Regina informed him.

« Cool. Want me to go to Grams ? »

« What ? No, » she answered, confused. « Why would you think that ? »

« Dunno, » he shrugged. « I didn't know if it was a family dinner. »

Regina was tempted to ask what Henry thought that dinner might be. But she was slightly worried about what his answer would be. So she didn't say anything and kept on eating her salad.

**************

After lunch, Regina sat on the couch in her study, a cup of coffee in her hands, reflecting on the recent events. Emma was at the center of everything. Emma had been in her life for several years now, and had slowly moved from enemy to ally, friend even. And just as slowly, without Regina realizing it, Emma had taken a place in her heart that had one only been filled with Henry. While once her son had been the only thing that mattered, Emma had become, if not as important, at least damn close.

And now. Now that they had crossed that line, now that she knew the taste of Emma Swan, the depth of the blonde's feelings. Well now, everything paled. Revenge didn't matter, Robin, even Daniel, nothing seemed to matter anymore, not when Emma wanted her.

She didn't know where that road would lead them, but that didn't matter. She wasn't even entirely sure that that kiss meant anything, indicated any kind of romantic future at all. However, it was abundantly clear to Regina that there wasn't anything she wouldn't do, nothing she wouldn't give up for Emma. She knew she was going to have let Robin go. But breaking up with the man barely felt like a sacrifice when it allowed her the freedom to have more of Emma.

She startled when her phone rang, but she didn't move. These days, that ringing filled Regina with dread. Today was no different. She got up anyway, picked up the phone from her desk and answered.

« Regina ? This is Dr Whale. Your boyfriend was just admitted to the hospital. »

She ignored how wrong the word _boyfriend_ sounded now. Instead, she thanked the doctor, warned Henry she was leaving and rushed to the hospital.

When she got there, a nurse immediately took her to Robin. The man was lying on the bed, his face a bruised mess, his left wrist as well as his whole torso wrapped in bandages. She gasped his name and he opened his eyes. A shadow passed in his eyes when he saw her, before he forced a smile.

« Hi, » he managed to croak, as Regina rushed to his bedside, dropping her bag on the floor.

« Robin, » she said again. « What happened to you ? »

« Your Saviour, love. Your Saviour happened to me, » he answered, his forced smile looking more like a grimace, his brows furrowed either in pain or in anger, Regina was unsure. It took a few seconds for his words to truly reach her.

« Emma did this to you ? Why ? » she asked, and her voice broke on the last word. Robin tried to sit higher on the bed but winced from the pain and gave up.

« She stated i was not good enough for you, that i wasn't fit to call myself your true love. I roused her ire when i expressed by disagreement. »

« You should have called me, » she said softly. This time, the anger was clear on his face and his next words were spat.

« I would have but i was a bit tied up, by a tree branch as a matter of fact. I was also being slammed against that very tree, repeatedly. » She started to apologize but was cut off by the man. « No, what the hell Regina ? What is going on ? Ever since Emma took on that darkness, you've been putting more and more distance between us. Now this ? I think i'm owed an explanation. »

He was probably justified in his anger but Regina could only get pissed. She swallowed down the urge to lash out.

« I don't have an answer for you Robin, » she replied, her voice low and dangerous. « I've been trying to help Emma deal with the darkness that she embraced for me, to protect me. Evidently, i haven't been doing a very good job of it. » Her voice broke again and she sucked in a shaky breath. Robin's eyes softened but hers hardened. « Her actions against you were obviously immensely misguided. But she's... she's sick, Robin. That darkness, it's a sickness. That's the only explanation i can give you. »

Feeling tired and empty after her rant, Regina sighed and leaned against the bed, bowing down her head. « Goddamnit, that idiot, » Regina growled, her voice low as if talking to herself. « She couldn't have waited one day ? »

« One day ? What would have been different tomorrow ? » Regina looked up, startled out of her little bubble.

« Nothing, » she answered a little to quickly. Robin narrowed his eyes. « I invited her to dinner tonight. I was going to talk to her. »

« Regina, don't lie to me ? »

The brunette stepped away from the bed and brushed a hand in her hair. She settled at the foot of the bed, her fingers tapping lightly on the railing.

« I am so, so sorry Emma hurt you, Robin. But to be truly honest, i was about to break things off with you. »

Wincing but ignoring the pain this time, Robin sat up. His face showed a mix of confusion and anger. It struck Regina, how troubled this man truly was.

« Is this because of Emma ? » he asked her.

« Not in the way you think. » Regina sighed. « Robin, you and i, we might have had true love once upon a time. But that girl who followed fairy dust to a tavern, she died a long time ago. I'm not her anymore. And you aren't that man anymore either. I care so much about you, i really do. And we'll always be in each other's lives, if only because i'll be your child's aunt. But, what we have... » She looked up as she searched for her words. « Doesn't it feel... superficial ? »

« How long have you been feeling that way ? »

« I think i was too caught up in the moment, in a series of moments, to really think about it before. »

Robin laid back down against the bed, all the fight leaving him. Regina stepped closer to him, hesitating. Eventually, she raised her hands over his face, healing him. Slowly, the black eye, the cut lip, the bruised cheek, went back to their normal state. Robin watched her.

« I'm sorry, » she apologized again, before leaving the room.

In the hallway, she stopped and took a deep breath. There was a part of her who wanted to smile. Another part that wanted to cry. She focused on moving and walked out of the hospital.

**************

When she got home, Regina dragged herself to the few steps leading up to the rest of the house and sat down. She took off her shoes and, her elbows on her knees, she rested her head in her hands.

« Mom ? » She startled when Henry called her. She turned her head and shot him a tired smile over her shoulder. « Are you ok ? What happened ? »

Regina grabbed his hand and led him to sit next to her. She wrapped her arm around him and laid her head against his.

« I broke up with Robin. »

« Oh. I'm sorry... » Henry said. « I mean, am i sorry ? » He looked up, frowning. Regina chuckled lightly.

« It's fine, honey. I'm ok. » She stroked her hand across his back, took a deep breath, smelling shampoo, and sighed in contentment, enjoying the shared moment with her son.

The moment, however, was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Regina slipped her feet back in her shoes and got up to answer the door.

« Hi ! » Emma greeted her with a bright smile. Her apparent cheeriness infuriated Regina. The brunette pressed a hand against the younger woman's chest and pushed her out of the house, and onto the porch, slamming the door shut behind them both.

« What the _hell_ are you doing here ? »

« You invited me over for dinner, » Emma answered, seeming genuinely confused. « I know i'm a little early ; i just thought i could help you set up. Plus, i brought wine ! I don't know anything about wine though, so i just took the most expensive bottle the store had. » The blonde was rambling.

« Did you actually pay for it, or did you just help yourself to it ? » Regina snapped.

« You're mad. Why are you mad ? » Emma asked, frowning.

« Why the hell are you acting like nothing happened ?! » Regina yelled. « You put Robin in the hospital ! »

The bubbly young blonde disappeared in a second and was replaced by an angry, darkened saviour, who bared her teeth, looking both threatened and threatening.

« Why do you care ? » Emma snarled.

« Because i do ! Because i may have broken up with him but i still care about him. You don't decide for me, Emma. Just because we kissed doesn't mean you decide for me who gets to stay in my life. » Done with her rant, Regina calmed down. « Damnit, Emma » she cried out softly.

« You broke up with him ? » Emma noted, her voice almost shy.

« Seriously ? That's what you get out of this ? » Emma smiled, stepped closer to Regina and kissed her. « Emma, » Regina sighed, against the blonde's lips. « Our son is right behind that door. »

Smiling still, Emma nodded and stepped back.

« I'm sorry, » the young woman said. Emma hugged the wine bottle against her chest and rested her chin on top of it.

« About what ? » Regina asked.

« 'Bout hurting you, » Emma answered. She shrugged and bowed down her head.

« I wish you were sorry about hurting him, too, » Regina said softly, feeling sadder than she had been angry. There was a hint of defiance in Emma's eyes when she looked up. But the young woman softened when Regina took the wine bottle from her and opened the mansion door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! Thank you so so much for your comments! It's really so freaking sweet of you to take the time to share your thoughts with me!   
> I really hope you'll enjoy this new chapter and i look forward to reading your comments!  
> xx  
> Adèle

Henry was waiting anxiously for them in the entry hall.

« Mom ? What's going on ? » he asked as soon as they walked in.

« Emma came early to help us with dinner, » Regina explained, forcing a smile for her son's sake.

Henry looked between his two mothers, uncertain. He nodded, a frown still on his face. But after a second he turned to Emma and smiled at her.

« Hi mom, » he greeted his birth mother.

Regina walked passed them just as Emma wrapped one arm around her son to press him against her in a quick hug. Barging in the kitchen, the brunette opened her fridge with such force that the door slammed against the cupboard with a loud noise.

« What the hell did that fridge do to you ? » Emma quiped. Regina glared while getting out tomatoes and red peppers from the fridge. « Henry's up in his room. He said he'd be down soon. »

« Probably smelled the gas in the air. » She closed the fridge with her foot.

« What gas ? » Regina glared again at Emma's question.

« What the fuck do you want from me, Regina ? » the blonde asked, the palms of her hands turned upwards in a childish gesture of innocence. « The man is an asshole. »

« Most people are, » the brunette answered. « It's not a good enough reason to beat them up. You're not a thug. » Regina grabbed a knife but put it down before her. Facing Emma, she leaned against the kitchen island, her hands around the edge. « You're better than this. You've got a good heart. I'm getting tired of repeating myself but i'll keep saying it anyway, unti you hear me. It kills me that you don't think yourself worthy. »

By the end of her rant, Regina was looking down. But she felt Emma step close to her, until she was by her side, facing the island, her shoulder touching Regina's. The blonde took the knife and started cutting the tomatoes. Regina turned her head towards the young woman and saw her shrug.

« It just feels kind of freeing that people expect nothing but the worst from me now. It's easier that having to save everyone all the time. »

Regina hurt for the young woman and the burden she'd had on her shoulders ever since coming to Storybrooke. She grabbed another knife and a cutting board and set them on the island. She stood near Emma so that their shoulders kept touching while they prepared the vegetables.

« You're not the Saviour, » the brunette said softly. « And you're not the Dark One. You're just... You're you. You're Emma. And this is enough. You're more than enough, Emma. »

Emma shuddered next to her. Regina heard her take a deep, shaky breath.

« So what are we doing ? » the blonde asked next, her voice hoarse.

« Tomato sauce. To go with the spaguetti. »

« Nice. » For long minutes, the only sounds heard in the kitchen were from the knives against the cutting board.

**************

While the sauce cooked slowly on the stove, Regina and Emma sat on the living-room couch. Or rather, Regina sat, while Emma slouched, her back against the the armrest. She had one leg on the couch, bent at the knee so that her foot hung off the edge of the couch. Regina sat primly on the opposite end, keeping a close eye on Emma's foot, ready to tell the woman off if it so much as grazed the furniture. Both women were holding a glass of white wine.

« This is nice, » Emma sighed in contentment. « If i could freeze time, i think i'd pick this exact moment. »

« You would ? » Regina asked, genuinely curious.

« Why not ? Good couch, good wine, good company. Plus the whole house smells delicious right now. » The blonde threw a wicked smile her way. Regina hummed and smiled back. She sank a little deeper into the couch. « What about you ? » Emma asked. « What moment would you pick ? »

Regina took a sip from her glass, licked her lips and frowned, thinking.

« Maybe that moment, right after i broke Zelena's curse by kissing Henry. »

« It's always about Henry with you, isn't it ? » Emma wasn't accusing. Her tone was light and her smile was free. Her eyes were shining with something like pride.

« Yes, i guess it is, » Regina replied, with the same easy smile. « Although now, it's a lot about you as well. »

Emma sat up and rested her arm on the back of the couch, her hand supporting her head. She stared at Regina, as she was prone to do these days.

« Why do you care so much ? » the blonde asked, her brows knotted together in confusion.

Regina found it was hard to explain, without using three special words.

« Do i really need a reason to care about you ? » she asked instead. Emma shrugged. « You're important to me, Emma. You insinuated yourself into my life and now i couldn't imagine it without you. I don't want it without you. »

She could see Emma was still uncertain. So Regina did the only thing she could think of. She set her glass down on the table and, leaning forward, she kissed the young woman. The kiss was slow, lazy, but more tender than their previous kisses. When Regina felt Emma smile against her lips, she pulled back and held the blonde's eyes until she was sure Emma felt peaceful. Then, Regina grabbed her glass back, took a sip and sat back against the couch.

**************

Henry only came down when dinner was ready. Over salad and spaguetti with tomato sauce, he filled his birth mother in on all the latest developments in their search for Emma's escape plan. Oddly, this subject rarely came up during Emma and Regina's conversations.

So Henry told her about not finding any account that Merlin was a living person in some realm, about Lancelot once telling Snow that the sorcerer was but a myth in their land. He told Emma about the dozens of books he and Belle had found mentioning the man, books filled with legends and tales that they were still going through in hope of finding a clue.

Regina kept a watchful eye on Emma. The woman seemed tense but was still listening at Henry with the same wonder and interest that she had always shown. She seemed almost detached, as though her son was speaking about some operation that didn't involve her at all.

« I was actually thinking about talking to Gold about all this, » Emma said.

« No, you're not. »

« Hum... Yes, i was. »

« With or without his powers, the man is a snake, » Regina warned. Gold was still on bed rest after his near death experience. She wasn't about to under-estimate him anyway. « Remember the last time you asked him for help and he almost trapped you in a hat ? Trust me, he would stop at nothing to gain in powers back. »

« Well he can have them for all i care. »

« Except he would have to kill you to do so. » Emma threw her a tired look. Regina was at least thankful the woman restrained from voicing her willingness to die in front of their son. It didn't hurt any less to see Emma so defeated. « You're not going anywhere near Gold, » Regina reasserted, and she grabbed the spaguetti bowl to serve Emma a second helping.

**************

After dinner, Henry hugged both his mothers goodnight. Regina noticed that he held on to Emma slightly longer that he usually would, as if he could hug the pain out of her. Her throat tightened in concern for the two of them, mother and son, both scared but unwilling to admit it, both stubborn and fierce.

He then ran up to his room, allowed thirty minutes of comics reading before lights out. Once alone, Emma settled against the stove as Regina leaned against the kitchen island.

« Thanks for inviting me, » Emma said. « I really miss him, you know. »

« So does he. Thank you for trying to be... »

« Normal ? »

« … Your usual self. You're a good mother, Emma. »

The blonde smiled and her eyes shone at the compliment. She stepped close to Regina, looking predatory.

« Can i kiss you ? »

« Now you ask for permission ? » Regina quipped before closing the distance between them.

She didn't want to spend too long analysing this new need for Emma Swan, this absolute inability to resist the woman. She found herself enjoying the moment far to much to be concerned about the causes or the consequences of her actions. Their kiss was anything but slow this time. It was messy and passionnate and Regina gasped when Emma grabbed her buttocks and pressed against her.

The brunette felt suddenly dizzy and she grabbed Emma's arms to keep herself upright. When she opened her eyes, she had left the kitchen. Taking a step back, she frowned.

« Why the hell did you poof us in my bedroom ? » Regina asked.

The answer to her question was written all over Emma's face, in her dilated pupils, in her flushed skin, in her hungry grin. When Regina stayed silent for a second to long, vulnerability appeared on the young woman's face. Regina couldn't bear such a sight and resolved to kiss it away.

Regina's hand slipped under the blonde's shirt and she sighed when she felt Emma's bare skin. She also felt Emma's hand taking a hold of the zipper of her dress and slowly dragging it down. Regina took a step back, took off the dress entirely and kicked off her shoes. She felt small when she looked up at Emma but the woman was staring at her with eyes as dark as they were bright and her whole skin flushed from the desire shining in them.

« Emma, » she whispered.

The blonde stepped close to her and, grabbing her face between her hands, kissed her hard. Regina opened the button of Emma's jeans, pulled down the zipper and immediately slipped a hand in the pants, grabbing Emma's ass and pushing up against her.

Regina's knees hit the bed and she fell backwards onto the mattress. She groaned, both because of her fall and because the loss of contact with the blonde. Emma took off pants and shirt before crawling onto the bed and over Regina. The brunette cupped Emma's cheek, having to take a second to wonder at the huge step they were about to take. She looked briefly behind Emma, towards the bedroom door.

« Henry... » Regina half-heartedly protested, thinking about their fourteen year old boy sleeping two doors down.

« We can be quiet, » Emma assured, desperate in her lust.

« When have we ever been ? » Regina chuckled.

But she brought Emma down for a kiss nonetheless. She raised herself up in order to take off her bra. Emma started moving down her body, peppering wet kisses along the way. Regina's heart beat faster and faster the closer Emma got to her crotch. After placing a single kiss over the black panties, Emma hooked her fingers on each side of them. She lifted her head up and looked expectantly at Regina. Only when she nodded, did Emma slowly slid the panties off.

Sitting back on her feet, Emma took a second to take in the sight before her : Regina Mills, former Evil Queen, completely bare for Emma to admire.

« God you're beautiful, » the blonde drawled.

Regina raised her leg and pressed her heel against Emma's back. The young woman fell forward, leaning on her elbows over Regina, the brunette's leg now over her shoulder. After one last wicked wmile, Emma moved down and pressed her mouth against Regina's sex. The brunette bit down hard on her lip, a small whimper already escaping her. Emma bit, sucked, grazed, licked the sensitive skin. She pressed a hand on Regina's hip to keep the thrashing woman in place.

« Fuck, » Regina breathed out. Emma chuckled against her clit. Regina pressed harder against the blonde's mouth. « Emma, » Regina gasped when the younger woman slipped two fingers in her.

Her hand still between Regina's legs, Emma slowly moved up her body, racking her teeth and then pressing kisses on the inside of the brunette's thigh, on her hips, over her navel. She took her time cherishing the queen's breasts, licking and sucking until the tit was hard and the woman begging softly, all the while pumping her fingers in and out. When she was high enough to kiss the brunette's lips, Emma curled her fingers inside her and pressed hard on her clit with her thumb. Regina's mouth opened under Emma's and the blonde swallowed her partner's cry.

Blue eyes met brown eyes and Regina stared at Emma, seeing a woman free from any burden, a woman happy in the moment. Regina found herself staring simply at Emma, the young woman who had become her closest friend. That sight, and the feel of Emma Swan over her, in her, brought her over the edge. Regina was shaking under Emma, a leg curled high around the blonde's waist. She wrapped her arms around Emma's shoulders and held onto her, her lips pressed against the young woman's neck as she came.

Slowly, Regina let go of Emma and the blonde lowered herself on her side, supporting herself up on an elbow. She rested lazily a hand over Regina's stomach and slipped a leg between the brunette's. Regina smiled when Emma kissed her shoulder.

« That'd be a pretty nice moment to freeze time, too, » Emma whispered, earning a throaty laugh from Regina.

« Yes, it would be, » the brunette agreed. She pushed Emma back and rolled onto her, sitting low on the blonde's stomach. Regina leaned over, her hands flat on the mattress, on each side of Emma's head. She sucked lightly at the hallow under her throat. « I like having you happy and... safe, in my bed, » she said softly.

« Well that's not corny at all, » Emma laughed and Regina felt the vibration of it against her lips.

« I'm serious. » Regina looked at Emma and grabbed the young woman's chin with one hand.

« Emma... please promise me you'll stay away from Gold. »

Emma tensed immediately at her words and the warmth left her eyes.

« That's really what you want to do right now ? » Emma snapped. She pushed Regina away from her and sat on the edge of the bed. « I thought you didn't want to control me, » she growled, her back to Regina.

Regina frowned, suffering from a slight emotional whiplash. She sat up and rested a hand on Emma's shoulder, that the blonde immediately shrugged away.

« Emma, i'm not trying to control, » Regina said. « But you can't stop me from trying to protect you. Just like i couldn't stop you from protecting me. »

« Leave me the fuck alone, » Emma spat. She got up off the bed and started getting dressed. « You can't do shit for me. Gold may be an asshole but maybe talking to him can help. He knows about darkness. »

Regina got up as well, grabbed her robe from a nearby chair and put it on.

« So do i ! » the brunette exclaimed as she tied her belt.

« Oh please don't make me laugh, » Emma snapped.

« What ? » Regina breathed out, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Emma turned to face her, her mouth twisted in a snarl and her eyes alight with a manic glee.

« I'm so fucking sick of you pretending to know what i'm going through. You think you know about darkness but all you are is a crazy woman holding a grudge against a little girl. »

Emma walked up to Regina, wrapped a hand against the brunette's throat. She pushed her backwards until Regina was pressed against the wall.

« Emma, » Regina whispered. She wrapped a hand around Emma's wrist. « Emma, » she pleaded the woman. She didn't fear for herself. She feared for the darkened woman, for her soul, for the light that seemed to die every day more in her. She feared for them ; as much of a them there was, anyway.

Regina saw Emma take a step back. Her arm was still raised, her hand still curled tightly ; but she was no longer holding the brunette's throat. Although to Regina, that hand hadn't left. She could still feel it pressing on her skin, cutting off her air. She felt her feet leaving the ground. When she looked down, she met Emma's cold gaze.

And suddenly it was Cora standing below her, using her magic as restraints, choking her until she saw nothing but bright spots before releasing her hold just enough for her to take a few hurried breaths. And it started over, and over again, until she went limp and her mother finally let go and she fell softly to the ground because Cora was always very careful about fractures and bruises.

« You're pathetic, » Regina heard. She sobbed. Her own fingers clawed at her throat in a futile attempt to get free of the chocking hold. « You were a pathetic excuse for a villain and you're a pathetic excuse for a hero. »

« Please, » Regina begged, for whom, for what, she wasn't sure anymore. Her eyes went wildly around the room, panicked, unfocused, until her gaze settled on the woman below her. Cora was replaced by Emma but the nauseating fear didn't leave. « Emma, » she whispered.

Her ears were buzzing but she heard a door open and she panicked again, thinking Emma had left her litterally up in the air. She kicked at the wall and tried to scream but she started coughing instead.

« Emma ! » someone yelled. « Stop it ! Stop it ! »

Regina fell roughly to the floor. Air rushed in her lungs, burning her throat. She sank against the wall and clutched her chest as she struggled to breathe in and out.

« Henry, » Emma whispered. Regina looked up quickly when she heard her son's name.

« Henry, » Regina whispered when she saw him.

The boy was standing in the room, between his two mothers, facing Emma. The young woman disappeared in smoke. As soon as she did, Henry turned to her and hurried to her side. He fell to her knees and took her hands in his.

« It's ok, mom. It's fine, it's alright, just breathe. »

She grabbed Henry's hands and bit down hard on her lip to silence a sob.

« Come on, mom. »

She found strength in her son's eyes, in the concern and the love obvious in them. Regina watched him as she focused on her breathing.

« That's it, in and out. You're doing great. »

When she felt steady enough, Regina let go of the boy's hands and wrapped her arms tightly around him. « I love you, honey, » she whispered in his ear.

« I love you too, mom. »

The two of them sat on the floor for a long time, hugging each other, trying, just for a moment, to push the darkened Saviour out of their mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to come check out my mess of a blog. I'm on tumblr as askmetojumpoffacliff (and i'll marry anyone who gets the reference).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School started up again this week so i might not post as regularly... On the other hand i really want to be done with this fic before season 5 airs so... we'll see!  
> This is kind of a slow chapter but i hope it'll soothe your Regina-loving hearts. ;)

That night, for the first time in ages, Henry slept in his mother's bed. Regina herself didn't sleep much but she spent hours looking at her son. She watched his chest falling and rising with each breath. She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead, soothing the nightmare away as soon as his face got tense. She stared and stared until she had memorised every curve and edge of his face.

She found herself looking for his birth mother in him, comparing the eyes, the nose, the mouth, the chin. He was more a Charming in spirit than in body. But she hadn't paid enough attention to Neal to be sure it was his father he took after.

The next morning, she made him pancakes even though it was a school day. He watched her like a hawk all through breakfast but he didn't bring up the previous night's incident. She walked him to the bus and before getting on it, he turned to her, both his hands wrapped so tightly around one strap of his backpack that his knuckles were white.

« Are you going to be ok mom ? »

Her throat tightened and she cleared it softly, mindful of the residual pain. She took his hands in hers.

« I'm going to be fine, i promise, » she reassured him.

She wasn't sure he believed her, but the bus driver honked and reluctantly, he left for school.

**************

She had a hard time focusing on her work that morning. Her lunch consisted of an apple she grabbed out of her bag, because she really didn't feel like going out. She yearned desperately for someone to barge in with kale salad. She cursed at herself when her eyes started to water.

Around two she decided to take the bull by the horn and pay her blonde nightmare a visit. She dreaded it and hated herself for it. But she wanted to be able to tell her son that things were alright. And right now she wasn't sure they were.

She poofed herself in the middle of the clearing, wanting a moment outside the trailer to compose herself before having to face Emma. She took a few steps before turning back. She turned again, sighed and walked to the trailer. She stopped just a couple of feet away. She breathed in, she breathed out...

Regina startled when the door opened on Emma. The blonde crossed her arms and leaned casually against the frame.

« Are you coming in or what ? » Emma asked.

Her voice was hoarse and Regina noticed that her eyes were red and puffy. She figured the young woman hadn't had an restful night either. Seeing Emma like this, hurt and vulnerable, banished all anger, all resentment Regina might have had. In fact, she had the overwhelming urge to take Emma in her arms and never let go of her.

Instead, Regina crossed her arms, her hands on her biceps. Emma stepped out and went to sit down on a bench newly placed against the trailer. Regina looked surprised at this addition but didn't comment on it. She joined Emma on the bench, sitting as far away from the blonde as possible.

All of a sudden, two glass bottles appeared in Emma's hands. She handed one to Regina without turning.

« Rootbeer ? » she offered.

Regina nodded and took the bottle, moved by the familiar gesture.

« I didn't think you'd come back here, » Emma said, her voice soft, barely above a whisper.

« Well, i didn't get to return the favor last night, so i thought we might finish what we started. »

« And by that, you mean... »

« The sex part, you idiot, » Regina groaned, with a tenderness to her voice that she hadn't expected. « I'd rather not see you lose control like that again, » she added softly.

Next to her, Emma sniffed. Regina didn't react.

« You lost control too, » Emma whispered.

« Are you seriously going to blame me for what happened ? » the brunette exclaimed.

« No ! I just meant... you didn't seem... all there. »

« Oh, » Regina faltered. She was silent for a minute, unsure whether or not to confide in Emma. She sighed and brushed a hand through her hair. « My mother... she used to trap me with magic, in the air, and choke me until i'd pass out. Then she'd start over, until she decided i'd learnt my lesson. »

« Jesus fucking christ, » Emma cried. She leaned forward, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. « I'm such a massive pile of fucking shit. Regina, i... i don't even know what to say. »

« I don't know either... I'm worried i've been enabling you. Every time you've hurt someone, i've only gotten closer to you. It obviously hasn't helped. Now, i don't know how to move on from this. I want to, but... i don't know how. »

« I hurt you. »

« You did. You hurt our son as well, you know. »

« I know, god, i know. You should have seen his face. He looked so heartbroken. »

« He'll be ok. He'll come around. »

« He shouldn't have to deal with all this shit. »

« No he shouldn't. »

« You were right. »

« I often am, » Regina deadpanned, earning a chuckle from Emma. « About what ? »

« Henry. I betrayed him. I broke his heart. I think it may just have broken me. » Emma's voice cracked. From the corner of her eyes, she saw the blonde rub her eyes raw. Regina closed her hand in a fist to keep herself from reaching for the young woman.

« You're not broken, » Regina whispered. « You're hurt. It's human. »

« Being human feels like shit. »

« And being the Dark One feels better ? You don't think i know what you're going through. You say i don't know what it's like. So tell me. Tell me, Emma. »

« You don't wanna know. »

« But i do, » Regina pleaded. She turned to Emma. « I do want to know. »

« Leave it alone, Regina. »

Emma stood up, her beer bottle falling to the grass. She kicked angrily at it and turned to Regina, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. The blonde stuck out her chin, glaring at Regina with something like disdain.

« You're good now, » Emma argued. « Why in the world would you want to meddle with darkness again ? »

Regina smiled slightly at that. After carefully placing her rootbeer on the bench, she got up and walked towards Emma.

« It's you i really, really want to meddle with, Emma, » Regina answered softly, an enticing grin on her face.

As conflicted as she felt right now, Regina knew that she wouldn't, couldn't give up on Emma. She wanted this thing between them to grow. She would have to walk a thin line between being there for the blonde and enabling her dark ways. But she wanted them both to have a chance.

With one hand, Regina grabbed Emma's. With the other, she cupped the woman's cheek. Emma leaned into the touch, her eyes closing. She hummed softly and Regina smiled. When Emma opened her eyes again, she looked both determined and heartbroken. Suddenly, her eyes became two dark holes and when she opened her mouth, black smoke poured out.

Regina barely had a second to worry before the blonde's lips were on hers. Emma's hand slipped in the brunette's hair, pressing her more tightly against her. When Emma breathed into her, Regina was immediately dizzy. Every part of her hurt. She felt like she was having a heart attack in the middle of the worst migraine of all time. She squeezed her eyes shut but that didn't stop the shadows and the white flashes. A loud, screeching noise pierced the air. She wanted to cover her ears but she felt too numb, too weak to move at all.

Her knees hit the ground and her head came to rest on something soft. Once she wasn't struggling to remain upright, Regina heard the noise more precisely and realized it was actually voices, faceless voices screaming, crying and pleading.

To Regina, it felt like it went on forever. But slowly, her heart stopped hurting, her breathing became easier and the voices quieted down. She realized she was sobbing. She wrapped an arm around her stomach and pressed a hand to her mouth.

Emma was holding her, she realized as well. The blonde was stroking her back and petting her hair. Slowly, Regina raised her head from where it rested on Emma's shoulder.

« I'm sorry, » Regina breathed out.

« I think that's my line, » Emma whispered back.

« Do you hear that all the time ? »

« Most of the time it's more of a white noise. Sometimes i can't hear it at all. Other times, i can't hear anything else. Did you feel... ? »

« Like i was causing their pain, yes. It's like i knew exactly why they were crying. »

« Come on, » Emma said as she helped Regina stand up, « i'll make you some coffee. »

Regina followed Emma inside the trailer where the blonde started to brew some coffee with an old-fashioned machine. Somehow, it soothed Regina to watch the young woman accomplish such a basic task without magic.

They were both silent for a long time, until they were both holding a cup of coffee, sitting side by side on the edge of the bed, their shoulders touching.

« When the darkness attacked me, » Regina eventually said, « it felt like it made me relive all the evil i'd done and made me feel all the pain i'd caused. But it was more like a series of flash-backs, not like this overwhelming tornado of centuries worth of evil deeds... »

« It makes me sick to my stomach, literally, to know that the cause of all this horror is living inside of me. Except when i... go dark, i guess. Then i just accept it and those screams feel more like cheers. I wish there was a middle ground. »

« There can't be, not with you. »

« What does that mean ? » Emma asked, looking curiously at the other woman.

« I know you don't like to hear it, but you're not like most people Emma. Most people... we have a bit of darkness and a bit of light within us, not always in equal parts. And the choices we make lead us a bit further into the light, or a bit further into the dark, in my case at least. » Regina shot Emma a small, sad smile. She carried on with her explanation when she saw how focused the young woman was. « But you're born of True Love and it makes you a being of light. »

Emma scoffed at this.

« You are, » Regina said softly. « Of course you have... shadows, in your heart. Light never exists on its own. But it's different. You're good. It doesn't mean that you always do the right thing because being good doesn't make you perfect. But the reasons behind all your actions, especially the misguided ones, are born of goodness, of love. Think about it and tell me i'm wrong. »

Emma looked at her, uncertain. She bit her lip and shrugged.

« I think that's why you struggle so much. Because pure light and pure darkness can't cohabit. Those two forces will keep fighting for your soul until one of them wins. »

« And you really think i have it in me to defeat the darkness ? » Emma asked, her voice small and shy. Looking down, she intertwined her hands around the mug.

Regina took Emma's coffee cup from her hands and set it down on the small table. She did the same with hers before taking Emma's hands.

« I know you can, » Regina said, looking deep in the blonde's eyes to best convey her faith. « And while you work on beating that darkness, i'll be by your side every step of the way and i'll keep reminding you of that. »

« Why ? » Emma breathed out, seeming overwhelmed by Regina's words.

The brunette rolled her eyes at the familiar question. She took a deep breath. « Because i love you, » Regina said.

And while her heart was beating faster than what felt medically safe, her voice didn't break, didn't falter. Her eyes never left Emma's. As terrified as Regina was to pronounce those words, she didn't have the slightest doubt that they were the right words to say. And she had no doubt at all that they were true.

« I know you know i'm not lying, Emma, » Regina added.

« I know, » Emma agreed. « I can see that you're telling the truth. I just... how weird is that ? 'Cause i love you too, and wow. I thought it was just a crush for me, but then there was serious pining, and i thought it would just stay this unrequited love thing. And i was cool with just being your friend but wow, yeah, this is so much better. And i promise i'll try so hard, i'll try to be good. 'Cause you deserve so much better than a psycho murderous girlfriend. You deserve the best. I mean i don't know that i can be the best but at least i can be good. »

« Emma ! » Regina laughed through tears at the blonde's ramblings. « Emma, » she repeated on a sigh, soft and loving, her whole body warmed by the chaotic confession.

« Right. Just... i love you. » Emma nodded, as if satisfied enough with those words. She looked up at Regina and smiled slightly.

« Now, can we go back to the sex part ? » Regina teased. Emma laughed and the brunette took a second to marvel in the beauty of the sound before she kissed her and pushed her down onto the bed, already unbuttoning the blonde's jeans.

**************

Regina's eyelids fluttered open and it took her a full minute before she remembered where she was, and what had happened. Immediately, she raised herself up from the bed on her elbows and looked around for Emma. She smiled when she spot the blonde sitting on the end of the bed, her bare legs drawn up against her chest.

« Hey, » Regina whispered. She sat up a little higher, clutching the covers to her chest, for warmth more than modesty.

« You fell asleep, » Emma commented.

Regina chuckled, a throaty laugh that made Emma look down at the brunette's lips. « Yes, i guess i did, » Regina replied. « Why is it so cold in here ? »

A small fire suddenly appeared on the bed, right next to Regina. The woman startled, but relaxed when the fire didn't spread. Soon, she felt the heat from the small flames and hummed in contentment.

« You fell asleep, » Emma repeated. Regina frowned. The blonde had a careful, guarded look on her face, yet she seemed puzzled by something.

« Sorry ? » Regina said, unsure. « It's not like i fell asleep on top of you. You did come twice if i recall correctly. »

« No, it's not... It's just... » Emma exhaled a long breath through her nose, looking annoyed at her inability to be coherent. She moved to sit with her legs crossed, her hands tucked under her knees.

From her place at the head of the bed, Regina watched her without moving, confused and slightly worried about the young woman freaking out again. Emma was wearing panties and a tank top and Regina was reminded of the feisty woman she had sarcastically greeted with a basket of apples. That was years ago. Emma had been an orphan back then, but she hadn't seemed quite as lost as she did in that moment.

« I'm just... » Emma tried to explain, « i'm not used to falling asleep with people, or to people falling asleep with me. Apart from Neal, maybe, i've never really had that kind of trust with anybody. »

It hit her and once again, Regina's heart broke. « You think i don't feel safe around you ? » she asked Emma.

« Why would you ? » Emma looked down and shrugged.

« Come here, » Regina said. She held out a hand. Carefully, Emma moved closer until her knees touched Regina's thigh as the blonde sat on her feet. The small, magical fire had disappeared, replaced by its maker. Yet Regina still felt just as warm. She tilted to the side, bringing a leg up under the covers until it rested against Emma's thigh. She placed a hand on Emma's knee. « I do trust you, and i do feel safe around you. »

« But what happened last night... »

« Doesn't erase years of trust, of friendship. You lost control, Emma. »

« I almost killed you. »

« But you didn't. You wouldn't have. You would have stopped. »

« You don't know that ! If Henry hadn't come in... »

« But he did. »

« I reminded you of your mother. »

« Yes, you did, » Regina replied, oddly calm in the face of Emma's panic. « But you're not responsible for my demons, Emma. I know you think that everyone has a breaking point, that people will all give up on you sooner or later. But you're not in the foster system anymore. You found your family, Emma. »

Emma was crying by the time Regina finished talking. She fell forward until her head rested on the brunette's shoulder. Regina pressed a kiss to the shaking woman's hair.

« I trust you and i love you and i'll keep falling asleep next to you, » Regina whispered.

« I love you so much, » Emma sighed, relaxing slightly against Regina.

When she raised her head after a moment, Emma was smiling.

« I didn't mean what i said, » the blonde said. « You were a downright terrifying villain and you're the bravest and the kindest hero i've ever met. Plus, you're really good at peptalks, » Emma quipped. Regina barked a laugh, surprised and delighted at the blonde's good mood. Emma sat up, crossed her legs, and looked more seriously at Regina. « I'm sorry i keep freaking out. But i'll stay away from Gold, i promise. »

Regina breathed her thanks against Emma's lips before kissing the blonde. She grabbed the nearest piece of clothes laying around, one of Emma's shirts, and pulled it on.

« You know, » Regina said as she fished around for her underwear, « you could always talk to Belle, though. She's been keen on helping and she's spent enough time with Rumple to know about the Dark One. »

« And you'd be ok with that ? »

« I wouldn't be suggesting it otherwise, dear. »

« Great ! » Emma exclaimed.

The next second, a confused Belle was standing in the middle of the trailer, gaping at them both.

**Author's Note:**

> The plan is to post once a week, either on tuesdays or wednesdays.


End file.
